EOY Wrapup

End of the Year Wrapup!

This time last year, I had just finished choosing the last of the stories for Giant Squeeing Robots. I distinctly recall the need to get that part done, because I was feeling ill and wanted to make sure my part was completed in case I was too sick to do it later. My husband had been sick, and I was coughing more than normal. Usually, whatever illness came around would barely affect me or wouldn’t hit me as hard as everyone else in the family.

Obviously, that wasn’t what happened this time, since I went into the ER on Jan 9th and didn’t get home again until April…or May. I don’t remember right now and not going to go look it up. That’s not all that important.

I was supposed to have the appointment to surgically repair my eyes on January 10th or 11th. Instead, I was unconscious. I don’t recall much of that time other than being smacked in the face and told at various points: You’re in the hospital. I’m doctor so and so. Can we cut off your shirt? Don’t try to talk. You’ve been intubated.

At no point was I afraid or in any great pain. Later I learned that I’d had almost a total body failure. All of my organs were taxed by the flu, double pneumonia, a staph infection, a possible stroke, DKA (toxically high blood sugars), and probably other things I don’t remember. They put me on ECMO for 5-6 days. I’m assuming it was 6, because for every day you’re on ECMO/a vent, you have an additional month of recovery time.

First conversations I recall were hearing a doctor stating that it’d take me six months to get back to where I was physically, able to walk and such. At the time, I didn’t have any real concept of what that really meant and what I lost. I just wanted to take a nice hot soak in a bath more than anything.

They had given me a tracheotomy. My first thought was the commercial with the lung cancer survivor going through how awful having a stoma was. Isn’t that permanent? Obviously, I was in a bit of shock that overnight, I went from being completely independent, doing everything normally to being unable to do anything. Couldn’t talk. Couldn’t sit up, roll over, or anything.

They had me on dialysis for kidney failure. Insulin. More medications than I’ve taken in my entire life.

And during that time, I got to see just how good my friends are. While I was an introvert, I was always around on Discord and easy for my publisher to reach. It’s important to me to not let people down. So among my first thoughts when I was awake was: Oh, no! I’ve missed my eye appointment! I hope someone called and canceled for me. I’d feel so bad for just not showing up and wasting their time.

I’m not around to promote my first anthology! I’m not going to be able to get my daily word count in! I still have to finish and turn in the revised Blood Diamonds draft to meet the publishing deadline this spring!

I’d already been suffering with what Progressive did to us over the last year with our house. They saddled us with a lot of unnecessary debt. Obviously, also concerned about my family, since they’re suddenly finding out everything that I do for them. Like, paying all the bills and doing all the grocery shopping…driving my daughter to work.

I had to get home. I’d already lost so much time and knew I was looking at possibly another year of setbacks.

However, it wasn’t so bad, because I got better. First of all, what I wanted more than anything while I was in the hospital was SOMEONE to come and pray with me. And I’m so thankful Lisa was the first one to ask if she could. Now, I’ve always been a believer, but not religious. Mostly because of history with a toxic church. I have a far better relationship with God and his people now. :D The doctors did their best, but good grief, they threw things at me that HURT me more than help me. In the end, it was only God who took care of everything.

I went from being on dialysis…and thinking I’d be on it forever, the same as the trach, to NOT requiring it. My kidneys healed a lot. They’re still healing. The trach was removed and closed. They had me on SO much insulin…and I don’t take it or any diabetes medications and my blood sugars are almost normal. My lungs fully healed. My heart is working NORMALLY for someone my age! It has some little holes in it, but they think those were always there.

I drastically changed my diet to manage my diabetes and health. I’d already made changes or this’d probably be worse. However, I was listening to bad medical advice that still insisted I needed 30-40 grams of carbs a meal and could eat ‘normal’ food. Now, I limit myself to 30 grams of carbs a DAY. I lost over 60 pounds in January and refused to give it any way back. For the first weeks, my stomach hurt so much, I could barely eat anyway. Doctors would not LISTEN TO ME.

I left the hospital on over ten medications and had to get off all of them when I found out many were causing me low blood pressure, weakness, and slowing my healing. Once they were gone, I noticed immediate improvements. (Yes, I did that with doctor permission until I got to the statin.) They had me on some nasty NEUROLOGICAL meds that caused balance issues. You know, the thing I need to WALK. My feet had swollen up while I was hospitalized and messed up all the nerves, but I did NOT have neuropathy. They got better. I still have drop foot, but I’ve gone from being pushed around in a wheelchair and only being able to stand for a minute to walking very slowly around my house without a cane. To me, that’s a huge accomplishment. Being able to DRIVE again has been wonderful. If I had to, I can do everything I need to unassisted…except get the stuff down out of the cabinets that’s out of my reach. Not even prepared to try the step stool. But I will again eventually.

It’s taken me almost an entire year to get here. I FINALLY hit 30k words last month. 40k THIS month. I completed writing two novels: Arcadian Ascendant (Rex Regis’s sequel) and Wrong Turn at the Spring. Wrote and finished that short Christmas story. Started writing a Boy’s book, Fools Gold, the sequel to Blood Diamonds, and began revisions on Glass Castles, my first Dragonfae Cycle novel. I’m going to get to revising Arcadian Ascendant next. It needs some structural reworking to remove part of the plot and shorten it. :) Yeah, I got delayed. I didn’t do most of the things I’d planned for this year, but I’m at least still here and BETTER FOR IT.

Tomorrow, I will begin writing a very detailed inspirational nonfiction book I’m tentatively calling: Trying Times about all of this, starting with my frustration that what we’re fed as NORMAL, turns out to not be normal at all and requires a complete shifting of how you think to tackle severe health issues based on diet.

I’ll write about my plans tomorrow. This has gone on long enough and it was a tough unpacking! However, happy new year! I was supposed to go to the doctor today to get my eyes medicated, but had to cancel. (Husband isn’t feeling well. Pretty sure it’s not the flu. Even if it was, not concerned. My white blood cell count is excellent and I got my flu shot this year. :D )

- TC Ross